C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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