i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
