I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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