Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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