awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Dignity is for republicans.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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