She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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