please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
