I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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