But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
