Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
