I'm jealous of your bromance
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
