I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
