I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
