Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
