That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
