i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
