you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
