just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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