pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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