Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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