There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
