Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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