he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
