Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
