we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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