I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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