he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
