If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
