Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
They should really pass out barf bags in church
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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