i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
