therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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