you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
