I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
