i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
smell my finger.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Randomize
