It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
How external is "for external use only"?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
