Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
