fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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