I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
