A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
