you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
