What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
