im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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