every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
