Don't you send me to vm
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
sex in a hospital.. check
me + whiskey = a bad person
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
