Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
