I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
