She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
