I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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