Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
