Me. At least after what I've been through.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
