Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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