I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
as a side note pls kill me
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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