She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize